Funny things

1) On the way to preschool today, Violet said, "Mommie, when I grow up can I use your coupons?" And I said, "Yes...but what do you need coupons for?"
She said, "For when I have blood."
And I said, "Oh...you mean tampons?"
Violet replied, "Yes, yes...tampons."
Me: "Yes, you can use my tampons when you grow up."

2) Mom said Violet couldn't find something. She was looking and looking for it. Finally, Violet said, "I bet the Grinch stole it."

3) Violet has dreams every night and tells us all about them. It's our entertainment every morning. She talks really loudly when she tells a dream. She really gets into it.

• One dream she had, she won "American Idol." She said she sang "Tomorrow" from Annie and the judges told her she was going to Hollywood!
• The other night, she dreamed that she had a "stove ring." I said, "what is a stove ring?" She said that it is like our stove, you could turn on a fire on it. (She acts out a clicking sound on her ring and mimics a little flame.) She said I called 9-1-1 because I didn't want her to have a dangerous ring.
• The saddest/funniest one is that she had an anxiety dream about preschool. She dreamed that she went there and couldn't find her cubby! She said a friend helped her look for it and her cubby was in the ball room. (Is that not just like a high school dream where you can't find your locker and then when you do, you don't remember the combination! How bad did I feel that my kid is having preschool anxiety dreams!
• She also dreamed that I found my shuffle. That day, I found it just where she said it was all along...behind her stage. YEAH!!
  

4) One night, I was rocking Violet to sleep. John was on the couch. Violet asked, "Why to boys like girls?" John said, "Because they are pretty and have curves and smell good." Then, John asked Violet, "Why do girls like boys?" Violet said, "Because they can take us to Goodwill."

5) Violet and I were in the bathtub and she was pouring water out of a cup onto me. She said, "Did that burn you?" And I said, "No." She said, "If it did, I would pour cold water on it." I asked, "Why do you think that would work? Why would cold water make something stop burning?" She answered, "Because it's electric."

6) Today at about sunset, Violet asked, "Why does China need the sun?"

7) One night, while rocking Violet, we somehow were talking about spinal cord injuries. I was explaining how once your back or neck is broken how someone could be paralyzed. I was basically going over the central nervous system and nerves and how they can't regenerate. And that once people are injured like that, they can't use their legs or arms again, ever. Violet asked, "Why?" And I said, "Because scientist haven't figured out how to fix it yet. Once a nerve is severed, it can't ever grow back together." She said, "I know how!!! (very excitedly) They can just sew them back together!" I said, "That's a really good idea. Maybe they haven't tried that yet."

8) One night, while rocking Violet to sleep, she said, "Mommie, I have a little penis." I said, "That is called a clitoris." She said, "No, it's like a little knob. It's a little penis. It's where my pee comes out." I said, "No, your pee doesn't come out there. It comes out of your urethra." "Then what is it for?" she asks. "It's to make you feel good while you are making a baby," I reply. She says, "Well, I still want to call mine my little penis."

9) In the tub the other night, Violet said, "Damn it, I forgot to get my shampoo at the grocery store." I then had to explain how we can't say cuss words. For months, she has been trying to say "Damn it", but I won't let her. Her way around it is to say, "Slam it" or "Bam it."