I was just teaching Violet what a feminist is.
First, I was explaining females and males. "Do you know what a female is? Like a female bird?" I asked.
Violet said, "Yes, my moogie taught me. It's a girl."
Me: "And do you know what a male is?"
Violet: "Yes, it's a boy."
Me: "Very good. Well, the word feminist is like the word female. They both start with FEM. They mean female. Can you say feminist?"
Violet: "Feminist"
Me: "Good. A feminist is a person who thinks women can do things that men can do. Some men don't think that women should do the same things that men can do. Like some churches don't let women talk or pray. Only the men can be the leaders of the church. Do you think women could be good leaders?"
Violet: "Yes"
Me: "And do you remember when we went to vote? When we went in that curtain and pressed some buttons?"
Violet: "Yes"
Me: "Well, not too long ago women couldn't vote in this country. The men wouldn't let the women. Does that sound very fair?
Violet: "No."
Me: So, some boys aren't very nice to girls and feminist try to change that so that women and men are equal.
Violet: "I know what we can do! All the girls should buy something for the boys so that they will be nice to us and then buy us stuff."
Me: "What should we buy them?"
Violet: "Lamps and treasures."
Me: "That's a good idea." (I'm sorry I'm a mom, I can't help it! got to boost the ego from an early age.)
Violet: And then, we should write them a letter that says: "dear boys, Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, oh pretty please, please, please, please be nice to the girls."
AND THERE YOU HAVE IT! (I feel like giving Susan B. Anthony a fist bump right now.)
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
the ol' snip nip
2 nights ago, Violet said:
"I wish Daddy still had sperm. And me and Erickson and Lovekender could go play in the basement and you and daddy could have some grown up time and make another baby. And then you wouldn't need a midwife I could just catch the baby by myself."
This one might be the best yet!
"I wish Daddy still had sperm. And me and Erickson and Lovekender could go play in the basement and you and daddy could have some grown up time and make another baby. And then you wouldn't need a midwife I could just catch the baby by myself."
This one might be the best yet!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Sleeping Beauty
Tonight, John put Love to bed. I read to Erickson and Violet. Then, I rocked Erickson to sleep. Then it was Violet's turn. She crawled up in my lab and said:
starting to cry, "I wish you would sleep with me tonight. I wish it was like it was when I was a baby and you took a bath with me every night and watched me and you spent more time with me. I wish we didn't adopt two brothers. I wish we adopted one sister who would play with me and speak English. The boys can't speak English and it takes too long! and they don't play with me and hit me and take things from me and Erickson pulls Lovekender's hand away from me and it hurts my feelings and I'm not used to two brown boys."
Mommie: "How does that make you feel?"
Violet: "Not good. I feel lonely and I wish someone would play with me and pay attention to me. Daddy is always with the brothers and you are always at work."
Mommie: "Today, we had breakfast, went to the doctor, ate lunch, played the uno animal game, and played Sick Bay with your babies."
Violet: "I know, but I want more time with you."
Mommie: "I'll have more time with you when I finish school" (Meanwhile "Cat's in the cradle" is playing in my head. "I know daddy pays attention to you."
Violet: "But we need special girl time. That's why I want you to sleep with me." (Violet co-slept until about 2-3 years old. Now, from time to time I'll sleep in her bed with her, but since the boys are home, I don't. I'm trying to be equal. I do miss it.) "What do you want to play tomorrow?"
Violet: "babies, but not star trek babies, just regular babies."
Mommie: "Like we are girlfriends with babies."
Violet: "Yes"
Mommie: "OK, tomorrow Daddy and I have to go to the doctor..."
Violet: "AGAIN!"
Mommie: "Yes, we have to go talk to someone about how Erickson is having a hard time.
Violet: "I want to go"
M: "It's just for parents."
V: "Why?"
M: "So we can talk about how Erickson is doing and not hurt his feelings. We can tell the therapist what is going on with his fits. Would you like to talk to a doctor or therapist about how you are feeling?"
Violet: "Yes. Do I sit in a chair?"
Mom: "Yes, you sit in a chair and chat about how things are going and how it is with two new brothers in the house and the therapist listens to you and helps you with new ideas and ways to deal with that."
Violet: "And I should dress up. I should wear jeans and a shirt...or dress in my cow girl outfit with jeans and that shirt and that skirt and vest and a hat. That would look good."
Violet rolled over and I rocked her to sleep. My heart is aching. I hope this midwifery thing is worth it. I hope someday, Violet understands that I want better births for the women on the planet. I believe in all my heart the midwifery model of care and think it should be a basic human right. Meanwhile, I'm missing out on my child's 4th and 5th year on this planet. I will miss many more precious moments when I get called to a long primip birth. Now, I'm going to grab my books and notes and study Graves disease and the lab tests I need to order to diagnose that. (Which are TSH, T3 and T4 then an antibody screen.) I wonder if...when Violet, in her cap and gown is accepting her college degree, this night will flash through my mind and I'll have tears in my eyes wishing I had canned the books and crawled into bed with my baby.....
I think I will....Hashimoto's be damned...I can only do so much.
I love you Violet!I love you so much!
starting to cry, "I wish you would sleep with me tonight. I wish it was like it was when I was a baby and you took a bath with me every night and watched me and you spent more time with me. I wish we didn't adopt two brothers. I wish we adopted one sister who would play with me and speak English. The boys can't speak English and it takes too long! and they don't play with me and hit me and take things from me and Erickson pulls Lovekender's hand away from me and it hurts my feelings and I'm not used to two brown boys."
Mommie: "How does that make you feel?"
Violet: "Not good. I feel lonely and I wish someone would play with me and pay attention to me. Daddy is always with the brothers and you are always at work."
Mommie: "Today, we had breakfast, went to the doctor, ate lunch, played the uno animal game, and played Sick Bay with your babies."
Violet: "I know, but I want more time with you."
Mommie: "I'll have more time with you when I finish school" (Meanwhile "Cat's in the cradle" is playing in my head. "I know daddy pays attention to you."
Violet: "But we need special girl time. That's why I want you to sleep with me." (Violet co-slept until about 2-3 years old. Now, from time to time I'll sleep in her bed with her, but since the boys are home, I don't. I'm trying to be equal. I do miss it.) "What do you want to play tomorrow?"
Violet: "babies, but not star trek babies, just regular babies."
Mommie: "Like we are girlfriends with babies."
Violet: "Yes"
Mommie: "OK, tomorrow Daddy and I have to go to the doctor..."
Violet: "AGAIN!"
Mommie: "Yes, we have to go talk to someone about how Erickson is having a hard time.
Violet: "I want to go"
M: "It's just for parents."
V: "Why?"
M: "So we can talk about how Erickson is doing and not hurt his feelings. We can tell the therapist what is going on with his fits. Would you like to talk to a doctor or therapist about how you are feeling?"
Violet: "Yes. Do I sit in a chair?"
Mom: "Yes, you sit in a chair and chat about how things are going and how it is with two new brothers in the house and the therapist listens to you and helps you with new ideas and ways to deal with that."
Violet: "And I should dress up. I should wear jeans and a shirt...or dress in my cow girl outfit with jeans and that shirt and that skirt and vest and a hat. That would look good."
Violet rolled over and I rocked her to sleep. My heart is aching. I hope this midwifery thing is worth it. I hope someday, Violet understands that I want better births for the women on the planet. I believe in all my heart the midwifery model of care and think it should be a basic human right. Meanwhile, I'm missing out on my child's 4th and 5th year on this planet. I will miss many more precious moments when I get called to a long primip birth. Now, I'm going to grab my books and notes and study Graves disease and the lab tests I need to order to diagnose that. (Which are TSH, T3 and T4 then an antibody screen.) I wonder if...when Violet, in her cap and gown is accepting her college degree, this night will flash through my mind and I'll have tears in my eyes wishing I had canned the books and crawled into bed with my baby.....
I think I will....Hashimoto's be damned...I can only do so much.
I love you Violet!I love you so much!
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